Saturday, August 31, 2013

.not a love story.

Feeling-less.  That's how I would describe my feeling at that very moment.  I have no idea why I choose to leave.  Two-day leave??  People would think I'm crazy. The colleagues think so.  The best friends either.  But, I choose to leave anyway.

10 minutes before landing, a homey-feeling creeps inside me.  I can't help smiling. I make my way out. No rush. The atmosphere is so serene. The weather is perfect.  I planned to rent a car and go straight to my favourite place, alone.  But, there.  Somebody is waiting. With a smile.  And that smile is contagious. Good news, I don't have to drive.

Lots of story come out, as if we know each other (too well) for 5 years.  No awkward moments.  It's like a pingpong game. I speak, you listen.  You speak, I listen. It's supposed to be a long and tiring journey. But, surprisingly, it's not.

We reach a place. It WAS a place full of hatred, once.  But, things are surprisingly ok. Having a companion who knows how to continue your sentence is bliss. I don't bother to look left and right.  I don't bother to think of the painful past.  I don't have to run away from the familiar faces. I don't have to be someone else. I just have to be...me.

Everything is near perfect. It's like a fairy tale. Everything is quite exactly what I want it to be.  The air is so friendly. I'm not being forced to do anything.  Yes. Friendship. That's how I describe the relationship. Coz we respect each other. We never step on the privacy zone until we are invited to do so. 


 

Friday, August 30, 2013

the puzzle will complete.soon.

"Don't beat yourself up for not knowing all the answers.  You don't always have to know who you are.  You don't have to have the big picture, or know where you're heading.  Sometimes it's enough just to know what you're going to do next.' -The Undomestic Goddess by Kinsella-




And so, what am I going to do next?

'Sleep' said the voice inside my head.


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Fahamkah?

(tengok mata pun suda tau cantik) *credit google


Kadang kita tak faham. Kenapa orang bersongkok merokok? Walaupun ritmanya seragam (buat puisi pun sedap), tapi kombinasi rokok dan songkok tidak cantik.  Maka, mulalah orang menyalahkan songkok. Hairan.  Kenapa tak salahkan perokok?


Kadang kita tak faham.  Kenapa orang rancak bercerita itu dan ini di belakang hamba Allah yang tengah menunaikan solat.  Bukan mereka tak tahu manusia ni imannya senipis kulit bawang. 

'Weh Bedah, ko ada tengok heels kalerful di Vincci? Hari ni ada sales ok.'
'Ada! 70% ya ampunnnn. Gila aku tengok. Bila kita mo pegi?'

Jadinya, mulut membaca al-fatihah tetapi hati amat nakal. Sibuk fikir 'aku pun mesti pegi juga. mau beli heels 5 inci kaler kuning yang aku tengok ari tu.'

Hairan. Sebab masa orang tengah solat la idea mencurah-curah untuk cerita itu ini. (tunjuk diri sendiri).



Kadang  kita tak faham. Kenapa orang berniqab (a.k.a. purdah) ketawa kuat-kuat. Yang tak berniqab, ada saja yang ketawa lagi kuat maha dahsyat.  Tapi sebab dia berniqab, dia telah menjadi 'watak utama'. Hairan.  Orang menyalahkan niqabnya 'Percuma seja berniqab, tapi...'.  Kenapa tak salahkan perbuatannya? Kenapa mesti kesalahan diletakkan di bahu niqab?



Kadang kita tak faham. Kenapa kalau bercerita dengan anak murid, dorang selalu blur. Cerita tu lucu. Tapi pelajar tak ketawa.  Sebab mesej tak sampai? Atau pelajar yang penat, malas mau digest cerita?Hairan. Cikgu tak mahu mengaku kesalahan. Yang sebenarnya dia becerita nda best. Suara mendatar. Tak ada klimaks. Ok . Ini keluar tajuk. Frust coz students always don't get what I'm trying to say. Ish.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

.Beads and peace-s.

It's Sunday.  The only day off that I have this week.  I thought I shall use the time wisely.  That's why I slept a lot. Oho.

But no worries. I still have time to finish what I should finish. Which is this one:



Yeah. It was completely done during the 7th syawal. WAS. But these hands were itchy.  Couldn't stop to add this and that here and there.   


p/s: The more you force me to do something...the more I refuse to do it. I hope you understand.
p/s: (I know you won't understand.  Coz you don't know the existence of this blog. It's alright.)
p/s: Goodnite everyone.

p/s of the p/s: Too many p/s. Ish.

Friday, August 23, 2013

.Pemimpin masa hadapan.Eh.skema.

The question I gave to my students during Civic class is 'Apakah tanggungjawab rakyat untuk mengekalkan demokrasi di Malaysia?'

I received an unexpected answer like 'Undilah kerajaan dalam pilihan raya.'

So I asked him, 'Undi pembangkang tak boleh?'

He said  cannot. So I said 'Why not?'

'Sebab mesti undi kerajaan seja.'

'Selalu tengok berita di tv?'

He nodded and said 'Buletin Utama'.

I smiled.

Monday, August 19, 2013

.Complicated.



I don't know which path I should take.
Left or right?
I wish I could choose 'or'




p/s: Sorry.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

.the best planner.

I put all the effort I could give to plan everything; to plan what I should say, how to construct the sentences and everything. 

But, yeah, Allah is indeed the best planner.  Within a day (less than a day to be exact), everything fall into place.  I didn't have to use the script I planned.  Though we haven't come to the decision yet, I am grateful that we managed to untangle some misunderstanding.

Decision has to be made, sooner or later. Whatever it is, I am sure, He knows better.




p/s: Let's pray for Egypt.

Monday, August 12, 2013

.Lillahitaala.

I praise Allah for everything; for every perfection, for every flaws, for every happiness, for every misery, for everything He had given me. 

I'm a woman, who always unsure about every single decision that I have to make.  But this time, I am pretty sure what I want and what I don't want.  Once again, I praise Allah the almighty.

Tonight is the night, where I should be honest to everyone and mostly to myself.  I shouldn't hurt anybody anymore. Enough is enough. Tonight, may Allah ease everything. Amin.


"Sesuatu yg dilakukan dengan niat kerana Allah swt, walaupun permulaannya pedih, pahit dan menyedihkan, in shaa Allah, pengakhirannya pasti manis dan indah.
Teguhkan hati, kuatkan jiwa. sabarkan diri
."
-quoted from a bestfriend-
thank you so much for being there.

.blame it on Kinsella.

'Rama tak baca ka artikel tu?'

'Tak.  Saya tak suka baca benda-benda serius macam tu.  Saya suka baca benda lain.'

'Tapi artikel pasal perempuan ni penting. Rama suka baca apa?'

'Sophie Kinsella' *bangga

'Huh?Siapa tu?'

'You don't know?? Sophie Kinsella? Shopaholic?  Confession of a shopaholic?' *I thought everyone knew who Sophie Kinsella is.

'Huh?'

'Cerita tu best. Cerita pasal shopping.  Lucu gila. Best!' *sambil tengok-tengok novel Kinsella yang potential untuk di bagi pinjam.

'Haha.  Tapi Rama kena start baca benda-benda serius macam ni.' *sambil explain pasal artikel serius tu.

'Huh?'

Seriously.I don't even understand a word. I should read serious article. May be I should start with something light, like emm emm... 

Glancing at the 'The Undomestic Goddes' by Kinsella (which I read for the third time), I think I should finish reading it first before moving on to the articles.



 

Friday, August 9, 2013

.Raya random.

So it's Syawal day 2 today.  And fact is, when we are over-excited of the event,sometimes we forget what day it is.  Like when people ask 'Hari apa ni ya?' then most of us tend to answer 'Hari raya ke-2'.  So may be that is one of the reasons why the muslims forgot to perform Friday prayer today (Husnuzon). 

I don't like stay up until midnight or pass midnight a day before raya.  But I had lots of things to do before raya.  So I end up slept at 3 am.  Just imagine, this woman, who always sleep at 10 pm without fail every night, has to sleep at 3??  The next morning, I woke up with the curtains and hooks and broom all over me.  I had lots of things to finish.  Pathetic.  A sister and her family came to my house that morning.  Thank God, I'm all ready to welcome the guests.  She said, 'Kakak tidur pukul 10 semalam.  Sebab malam raya tu la kita pompuan ni kena pakai mask siap-siap and tidur awal..so the next morning tak da la eye-bag..pimples beketul-ketul di dahi. Kan Ana? Pukul berapa tidur semalam?' While touching my pimples I said '3 pagi.' Sedih.

I love raya cookies.  Everytime beraya, I will try my best (lol) to taste each raya cookies in front of me.  But this raya, I cannot do the habit.  I got bad ulcer. It's very very painful until I can't eat properly.  My eyes got teary everytime I try to munch and swallow food coz it's too painful I can't bear it. So pathetic. In a friend's house, she said 'Rama kenapa mata berair?  Sedap betul kah kuih tu?  Jangan la bah  makan sampai terharu. Haha'. She literally laughed.  I don't blame her. She doesn't know how bad my ulcer is.

Talk about baju raya. Let's say congratulation to yours sincerely because her baju raya is still 'under renovation'. Until now. No worries mum said.  I have lots of baju kerja to wear.

Oh, wait. Just received a phone call from somebody. Here comes the drama. Nervous.

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin dari saya dan...ok itu nanti sambung. 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

.creepy crepe.eh.

Though crepe was so yesterday, but I did it anyway. Coz I love food. And sometimes the ones we cook by ourselves are worth it compared to the ones we buy (though sometimes the taste is not the same.oho)

Since I love kiwi, I decided to make kiwi crepe. 

I only use half of the kiwi to make 8 crepes. Slice it into small pieces.  Some people prefer the big slices. Up to you. =)
 
 
I used value pride whipping cream.  It's already sweet so to lessen the sweetness, I prefer to combine it with the sour kiwi. 

Finally..tadaa!

Hey, do you know that kiwi can function as antioxidant?  It helps to keep hair, skin, and teeth healthy. And it also can enhance our energy level. So, it's very good for those who are fasting.

(Nampak sangat copy paste google.huhu. Sebenarnya suka kiwi sebab dia cantek seja pun. ==')

Friday, August 2, 2013

.What happened happened.

This is a story about something in the past...
It was a very hot day.  5 days before raya if I'm not mistaken. 

There I was.  In the shopping mall.  Surrounded by beautiful-colourful baju raya and lagu raya as a background.  I was so excited that morning. Hoping. And kept on hoping for some miracle to happen. But. As expected. Nothing.  Nothing happened.

Desperate. I made a phone call.  A list of excuses given by the receiver. Being the clueless me, I tried to believe every single word.  I tried to smile.  But my vision was blur.  Coz I was trying to hold the tears.  I suddenly hated shopping.  I didn't have the guts to buy anything.

Now, after pondering about it again, I think those excuses are lame.  Yes.  I wasn't that smart back then.ehe.

Yes. Though the year was terribly terrible...I thank God coz He still gives me a chance to love shopping again to 'find' who I really am.