What a joke. I've never been at anything as depressing as this, my whole entire life. Ok. I'm exagerating things. But, seriously, the situation at school today was quite depressing (for me). I was asked to mingle with the teachers. I did mingle! It's just that I dunno how to say things. Like when they talked about breastfeeding their babies, what do you expect me to say?? And when they talked about cooking for their husbands and how their husbands love their tomyam, and this kakak talked about her delicious noodles and her husband loves it. I could only say 'Oh, so sweet!' I wanted to asked for recipe but the others still want to talk about their husbands. It's quite rude to interfere right? Oh, come on. We live in Malaysia. The teachers are nice. I do like and respect them. But it's just that we have this age gap.
And another thing, I embarassed myself while talking with this young ustaz. We never talked before. But, today I desperately wanted to ask about things. So, since he's just around my age, I tried to make things casual by using 'aku' and 'kau'.
'H, kau ada pergi taklimat hari tu'
'Oh, ada. Ustazah ada datang ka?'
'Ustazah? Ustazah mana satu?'
'Maksud saya ustazah la.'
'Aku? Eh, I mean saya? Oh, saya lambat datang. Jadi..eh ok lah ustaz. Itu seja'
I quickly made myself disappear.
Because he didn't make things casual, so I feel awkward. When I feel awkward, I refuse to talk about things anymore. I'm weird. I do admit. Ish.
Ok. That's why I asked for a one-day leave tomorrow from penyelia petang. Eh.