Saturday, March 30, 2013

.dear the first guy i met.

today was the day
the day you went away
and never looked back
though I only got 5 years to see your smile,
and to feel your touch,
but I have my whole life to feel your love
and I will bring this love in my heart forever.

------to my late father who is six feet under.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

"tidak layak!" .eh sadis.

-----25-30 tahun
-----Kelulusan dalam bidang pendidikan Islam

Sedang berusaha untuk redha.
Mungkin rezeki belum ada.
Atau mungkin rezeki bukan di situ?

“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.”
-Baqarah ayat 216-

Saturday, March 23, 2013

.that very moment.beside the bamboo to the viva.

That one last look.

nobody knows

only me and you and Him.

From that one last look

though only lasted for a few seconds,

I know you are a good person.

.drive me crazy. (gps is invented for somebody like me)

Went to school.

Planned to put test papers inside the file and go back straight away.

Had to cancel the plan tho.

Found that my table was occupied with lots and lots of books and journals

Sudden depression. 'Buku budak banyak belum mark.ya Allah.'

Took my red pen and started marking.  I should finish this before holiday.

One book.Two books. Three books.Four books. Then  I stopped.'What on earth is this??"
Marking students' essay is not as enjoyable as I thought it is. Pening.

"I need another story something to get off my life gets kinda boring..." it's one republic's song.and's my ring tone. (Eh, ringtone tak memotivasikan langsung.) Actually..hafiz set the ringtone for me a year ago.Since I get used to the ringtone, I don't want to change it (read: I dunno how to change my ringtone.ish.pathetic.)

Ok.lets continue with the main story.

My phone rang. 'Help!help!pick me up.I wanna go to airport.Late oredi!" Ok.thats not how fatin asked for help. She's the most polite human being I've ever met. So, the main point is, I should pick her up.

My biggest the veeerrrryyyy BIIIIG problem in my life so far is how to drive from one place to another.I'm not good in memorising places.

Dengan penuh yakin I drove all the way from school to airport. I thought I should do the check in for her first.  Yes, I ended up in KKIA terminal 1 when actually I should be in terminal 2. Ouh, I'm so smart.

And the adventure started.  I dunno how to go from terminal 1 to terminal 2.  Tried to call some friends.  Too bad.  All I could hear was 'teeeeeeeeet'.  Call ended. Celcom buat hal. =.='.  Thank God, amal was reachable.

"Terminal 2 is just around here" Repeatedly saying this mantera. But I ended up in a errr.. taman perumahan. And I feel really stupid.  Stopping another car and asked the way out. 

And yeah finally fatin was safely arrived in terminal 2. Alhamdulillah.

Feeling hopeless, I tried to figure out how to go back. Penat fikir.  I decided to just follow the crowd.

Guess where am I after an hour? In secret recipe!ohoii

"macam mana sesat sekali pun, sure sampai secret recipe" he said. Eh ha'ah la. I can't help laughing.

sipping ice blended capuccino and a piece of yogurt cheese cake brought back a smile to my face.

as if they knew how bad my day was...I had a 'Bad Day' song as a background. Ouh, at least better than 'pernakah kau merasa jarak antara kita...'.=.='

At least my day was not that bad.  Thanks to sir safee sali. Despite hearing your students calling you like every 5 minutes in the SHOPPINGMALL, I enjoyed the outing today.=)

Friday, March 22, 2013

.gentle knock at the door.

When you feel comfortable with somebody, you will tell something without having difficulties to construct ur sentences.

the ideas flow smoothly. topic changes without hesitation.

and trust me, the feeling is good.............................................................=)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

.ingin berlari laju.

Hati menggaru-garu sejak pagi tadi.  Hairan. Seawal bangun pagi hati mula tidak sedap.  Cuba muhasabah diri, arahan Allah yang mana dimungkiri. Sesal. Jawapan tidak ada.  Mungkin kerana terlalu banyak dosa.

Di sekolah. Usai mengajar. Kembali ke bilik guru. Perasaan itu muncul lagi.  Ya Allah.  Risau.  Cuba berbicara dengan Tuhan..minta hati ditenangkan.  Tarik nafas dalam-dalam dan hembus perlahan. Teknik tidak berkesan.  Kakak duduk di sebelah mengerling kehairanan.

Muhasabah lagi.  Berita buruk apa yang akan kuterima?  Cuba redha.  Mungkin ini kifarah dosa. Risau.

Balik sekolah.  Hati makin tidak sedap.  Debaran kencang yang menggoncang.  Ini semua penangan observation hari esok, mungkin.  Cuba bermonolog.  Menyedapkan hati.  Gagal.

Allah menjawab pertanyaan.  Berita yang tidak enak didengar.  Tidak ada persoalan lain yang timbul di hati.  Hanya 'Kenapa' yang datang bertubi-tubi.  Maaf.  Aku hilang vocab untuk membalas perkhabaran.  Tunggu aku tidur untuk mendigest segala yang terjadi. Terkejut. Seperti terkena renjatan elektrik yang kuat.  Sakit. Sedih. Iya.  Menaip sambil mengeluarkan air mata amat pedih.  Kamu bertabah. Ok?

"Apabila hati menggaru-garu, itu tandanya tindakan itu adalah dosa" (nasihat dari seorang kakak)

p/s: Kak Husna, saya rindu.  Bulatan sudah tidak segembira dulu.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

.Teacher's diary. (Oh My English!)

Student: What is Ustaz Azrul?

Teacher: Oh, he's a human.

Student: Ha? Eh teacher maksud saya mana Ustaz Azrul?

Teacher: You should ask where's Ustaz Azrul?

Student: Where's Ustaz Azrul?

Teacher: Good! But sorry, I don't know where he is.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

.when you hate the boxoffice songs....

you can't help but listen.

"ketawa bersama menangis bersama di bintang tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu tak pernahkah kau sadari akulah yang kau sakiti  this girl is on faiyerrrrrrr shine bright like a diamond"

In the radio
in the supermarket
in the staff room
in the classroom
in the toilet even
pokoknya the songs are everywhere. =.='

There's saying; If you can't beat them, join them

tired of feeling annoyed..and tired of being annoying (coz I shut them up or I change the radio frequency) I decided to choose the easy way out; SING ALONG!

and it works!

now lets hope that my pitching will improve. =.='

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

.hanky, please.

I may not know how it feels to miss a guy called husband

I may not know how it feels to keep on worrying...

keep on guessing and assuming where he is…what he is doing at the moment…

keep on wondering whether he is safe or in danger

I may not know the feeling of losing a husband

I may not know how it feels to wake up in the middle of the night and staring at the empty spaces in the bedroom.Alone.


But one thing I know is…

He will live as a hero

Or die as a warrior.



p/s: Now I realise how hard it is to hold your tears when you see a cheerful wifey becomes sombre and worrying about her husband every single day and night.  My heart sinks every time seeing her sobbing secretly behind her lappy.  Kiram shouldn’t do this to her. Kiram shouldn’t do this to us. Kiram shouldn’t do this to Sabah. Kiram should just back off!