Saturday, June 30, 2012


I can't bake. Thus i feel hopeless
I think my smile is fake. Thus i feel hopeless
I know what to do but I just can't do it straight away. Thus, hopeless
I'm watching tv but I have no idea what on earth they are talking about. Hopeless
Buying something which is hopeless. Seriously hopeless.
Having endless list of things I should buy, but end up buying things which are not even in the list. Again hopeless.
Planning this and this and that--but nothing seems to work perfectly as it should. Why? hopeless.

I'm thinking too much about that one thing I guess until everything seems hopeless.
I think I should hope-less and stop being hopeless, no? 

Too many negative feelings are no good. You with the positive aura should at least send me some of yours. please. come fast.pos laju if can.

selipar putus. i really hope i can mend it straight away. how?how? hopelessnya.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

.one after another.

she's leaving.
im all by myself.

'la tahzan.innallaha ma'ana', remember?

Monday, June 25, 2012

make haste!

coz she found this inside her mind


so please come and help her fast.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

.this is a love story. ("how we met")

It was my first day as a trainee teacher in the school. I was nervous. Real nervous. Teaching is not my cup of tea --as I would like to be a steward actually.  I had to teach form 5 students. Phew! Such a tough job really. I was 21 and they were 17 years old.  I told myself million times not to have a crush (let alone fall in love) with the students. and the teachers as well. No. Not from this school at least, I told myself.

I was having a tough time.  I really want to be a teacher after my parents rejected my 'application' as a stewardess.  To be a teacher, I had applied three times. But failed to get a positive answer from them.  Frustrated, I am. One day, I received an offer from my father's friend who wanted me to substitute a maths teacher who just got a baby. No doubt, I was absolutely willing to help!  I couldn't wait to say hello to the school. *smile

I had a long hair--something which is prohibited for male teachers nowadays. I often flipped my hair and that made the girls go 'wow' (according to them.*laugh).  I was a very very shy person. I didn't know how to speak to the Venusians (well, I mean girls). Then, one day, while preparing exam papers in the typing room, a lady came in. It was the first time I saw her. And my heart thumped like thunder. She was absolutely stunning. She talked a lot. And I love to listen to all the things she said. By the way, I flipped my hair more often, you know...just to attract her attention. *laugh

I enjoyed my temporary career as a teacher in the school.  I love everything; the students, the headmaster, the school, my subject and everything! You know what, I saw a guy with a long hair playing volleyball the other day. And actually, he is included in the 'everything'. *smile.  The way he flipped his hair wow-ed me. We met again in the typing room.  He helped me to type and print all my exam papers.  He didn't talk much. But that's alright as long as he listen coz I love to talk. *smile

*adapted from a friend's parents. they really know how to continue each other's sentence. and i'm amazed by that. May Allah bless their family herein and hereafter.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

put the blame on...who?

one fine afternoon.somewhere in Msia.

"mak, babi tu apa?"
"babi tu hantu. dia makan orang yang xmau mandi.suda.cepat pegi mandi"

sometimes, some people scold their children if they tell lies. I think they should scold themselves first.

Monday, June 18, 2012

.before flying with wings.

Bumped into a pole and hit a trolley
Clumsily put the trolley in place and run to kl central with my big luggage and a hand luggage and a bag pack packed with things God-knows-what
Bought klia transit and lost the ticket few minutes after that
Made a muka kesian to the guy in the counter to replace my ticket for free
'No miss.We can't help you. Why don't you search for it again.' Stress! I feel like giving him a the, tapi muka dia kiut
After half an hour searching, I found the ticket.Crumpled with another trash inside my bag. How come lah.
The guy in the counter showed his concern. I proudly showed my newly found ticket. He smiled. tarik balik high 5 in the face.
Then I accidentally said something which people, who are about to fly, shouldn't say; "bestnya kan if the ppl called our name. attention to miss ramadana, you have to check in now at gate 7 bla bla.famous kita di klia weh"
I said it coz I overly confident that we would coming in time. Ditakdirkan, we went to the wrong gate.
and yes, my dream came true. The people in charge called our name after we ran like nobody business from gate b7 to a9. Imagine, running with the heavy bag pack and the double heavy hand luggage. No wonder the flight attendant said 'balik dari sekolah ye dik?kenape tak pakai seragam sekolah?" =.="

Despite the many things happened, I was having a good time running here and there, laughing all the way and exchanging so many things and stories with lia. We had been sleeping together for more than 3 days, and you know what it means. LOL.

Friday, June 15, 2012

.kuale lumpo.

From kb to kl
so much different
the former is sooo green
the latter is sooo blue (ehe)
it doesnt matter though, bumi Tuhan juga dua2.

KL is always at its terms of shopping
sogo got 70% off for handbags, purse bedsheet and stuff
the tudungs (with the same pattern and same style) in jalan tar are much cheaper than in kelantan and terengganu
but no worries i didn't buy much.
3 months without allowance in gaya stop me from shopping
see...i, at times, can think ahead too.aha.iyalaa tu.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

.the first days in malaysia.

Say hi to malaysia 4 days ago
for certain reasons, i'm not yet in sabah

now in nik aziz hometown (eh is it?ehe), i feel at ease.
it's peaceful here (despite the terrible sunburn) 
thanks to sabby and lia and wani
they make me feel at home.

i went shopping like i usually did in any other places
i walked faster.and leave the others behind.
then there's this incident when i asked the macik this and that and tried to bargain
she failed to understand me and me too, failed to understand her.
no matter how hard i tried to speak their language, i failed to do so
kecek kelate meme fail. asyik dok pehe ja.
then i realise, shopping in here needs more than a good skill. it needs language and understanding.
thanks to sabby and cikbi.thanks for explaining what 'gori' is, what 'riya' and 'so' is. thanks for helping me to bargain. *clap 

Friday, June 8, 2012

.room 31E.

last day in plymouth
all i could see is emptiness
all i could hear is the echo of my own voice
there's nothing in here
completely nothing
and i couldn't even think of anything
ask me what the answer for 1x1 is, and i bet my answer would be 2.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

.before leaving for good. (4)

London was sunny. And cloudy too.  British weather. What do you expect?ehe. I didn't snap lots of picture. Coz I was too excited admiring all the things in london. Macam jakun, but seriously I'm going to miss this place so much. I love it. But I don't think I can survive here coz walking down the street of london, in a minute, you'll find your nose is black. The air is so dirty that you wish you could wash your face fifth five times a day.

Tower bridge.We were lucky to witness the lifting of the bridge. Two times.*smile 
Tower bridge is exciting. But london bridge is more famous. Thanks to the 'London bridge is falling down' song.  What if we create another catchy song for tower bridge?  Coz I personally think, london bridge is not interesting. It's just a road. with lots of cars. with nothing interesting to be captured.   

Yes. I'm quite a fan of harry potter hence the picture on the very left, platform 9 3/4. 
Oh the telephone booth. It's nice to see from the outside. The inside?? God knows how smelly it was. Somebody didn't know where to pee i guess. *puke
Lots of flags huh? Coz the queen's bday was a few days after we arrived in london. 80 something years. not bad. *terus nyanyi God save the queen.ehe
Victoria- the last station before going back to plymouth. ='(

see..the same shirt. the same scarf. the same cardi. now you know how important to recycle your shirts especially when all the clothes you brought were absolutely colour-block. =.='
thanks to the cloudy-weather. the sweat was nowhere to be found. hence, the recycling process became easier. oh yeah, don't forget to spray some EDT too.^_*

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

.hikmah kembara.

"ujian yang diberi akan membuahkan kemanisan iman berpanjangan sekiranya diiringi doa, tawakal dan sabar."-nia-

i thank Allah for this 6-day journey

thank you for sending me to the program where i could meet those lovely people who could answer my queries without me asking any question

thank you for sending me the sisters and brothers.thank you for giving me time to meet her at the very last minute.2 minutes are enough to give me hope.

hope everything goes well

i'm patiently waiting to make things clear

yet i'm partially ready to face the consequences

waiting for the result makes me nervous, and anxious and afraid and painful but excited at the same time.

i'm no good

but i will try to be one of the best

coz Allah judge the effort you give.not the product.