Thursday, April 26, 2012

.caring is sharing 5: love can bite. (no.not talking about love bite).

A best friend lent me this book and asked me to read it no matter how long it will take me to finish.  I was reluctant to read it at first. Because I, I don't need this kind of thing. 'Tentang cinta'??It's too cliche.  So I kept the book nicely among stacks of other books on the bedside table...for months. Can you imagine?? For months!   Until one day, something terrible happened.  I finally have the guts to open and read the book. And yeah, I learn and re-learn some things. Like, ya know, medicine is bitter, but the bitterness of it can make you feel better.  The same goes to problem.  Problems make you feel frustrated, dissapointed,upset and all, but without the problems, how'd you know you are stronger? Problems give you the essence of strength and courage. We learn from mistakes, don't we? "Hidup tidak selalu indah, kerana di situlah keindahan hidup"

When I messed up, I do question myself, why?why now?why did this happen?why me? Yet I realise,why did I ask why when the 'how' is more important than the 'why'? When things happen, we should be proud coz He chooses us instead of somebody else.  "Dia memutuskan untuk menyambungkan" 

"Love Him, before you love him"

i found pic taken from the back shows how peaceful you are. but at another angle, it shows how problematic and miserable you are.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

.happiness in a circle.

Remember the first time we've been introduced to the 'happy circle'? We refused to join.  The sisters knocked gently but we slammed the door and muttered bad words. We pretended we had something else to do. Every friday night, we said we need to do assignments, homework, exercises blablabla. We tried soo hard to give silly excuses. Funny.  Coz now, after three years, we can't wait for friday night.  Because we can't wait to see each other.  We do meet in class, but the feeling is different when we are together in the small room and make a circle and discuss about things.  We know it's not just a circle, it's our 'happy circle'.

after subuh

happy circle is not restricted in a can also be in  the sports hall,people.

 .let's remind each other.from now until forever.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

.caring is sharing IV.

"Good and evil are not equal. Repel (evil) with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with him will turn as if he were a close friend."

"Dan tidaklah sama kebaikan dengan kejahatan.  Tolaklah kejahatan itu dengan cara yang lebih baik, sehingga orang yang ada rasa permusuhan antara kamu dan dia akan seperti teman yang setia"

Fussilat 34:41

Menelannya memang payah.tapi semua itu akan berhenti i.Allah.sabar.sabar itu memang pahit.tapi indah.

semoga pelangi ini muncul lagi di hadapan rumah.saya akan tunggu.i.Allah

Friday, April 20, 2012

.a month before leaving for good.

Walking down the city of Plymouth.  The air was fresh though it's a bit colder than yesterday. Nothing different really.  The elderly passed and give a smile. The teenagers mocked each other and laughed. The ladies with shining handbags and stylish boots and heels.  The gentlemen with a brand new suit. I smiled.  Usually, they didn't notice my existence.  I guess because I'm the odd one. *laugh* With my obvious asian skin, with the scarf covered my head instead of my neck, with my round face and small eyes and big nose, who cares to even take a glance? *laugh* Sometimes I prefer not to be noticed by anyone so I can easily scrutinize and judge others. Brilliant ideas, don't you think?ehe.

And yeah, this one fine day, I did something different. The idea of wearing a pair of heels to the city had never crossed my mind before. But that day, I did.  Being as tall as others made me feel good. 'Now, we are equal in terms of height.' *evil laugh* Walking in heels, I was pretty confident that I won't slip. 'Never!' I said.  Can you see how arrogant I was?*ish3*. Then, suddenly, without giving a single sign, I slipped and I fell quite horribly.  Nobody noticed that at the first place.  But the heels produced a noisy sound which, you can imagine, attracted other people's attention.  It's quite tragic actually.  Because I stepped on a young lady's foot before I slipped.  Then, the young lady fell into an old woman who finally fell to the ground. A domino-effect I reckoned.  I was sorry for the old woman really.  But what should I do?  I didn't intended to fall at the first place. Who wants to be hurt? Tell me? I was blamed for what had happened though.  And I blame myself too. It was embarassing. *blush* (No! Blush is not the right word.)  Everyone blamed me (oh I just repeat it twice).  Everyone! I was terrified that I felt like running; leaving the heels behind.  But, wait! Islam didn't teach us to run away from problems.  In fact, every religion teach their believers to face the problem.  Am I right? So I said sorry many times.  But you can guess, I assumed.  In this kind of situation, nobody wants to hear your sorry.  Nobody wants to hear your explanation.  It is clear that I am to be blamed. So, what's the purpose of explanation?  What I did was stood still.  Trying my best to be cool.  I wanted to say a word but I chose not to.  They hurt physically, I don't think I can hurt them verbally.  So I kept my mouth shut.  Listening to everything they had to say.  Nobody back me up.  Nobody.  Coz I was meant to be blamed.  Yes, I was.  I was wrong because I chose to fall. 

I took my heels after a moment.  No. I didn't throw it away.  I would never do that unless the heels was totally broken into pieces.  I know there's always a reason behind all this.  Allah chooses me to fall.  Coz He wants me to learn how to get up.  A friend of mine said 'It's alright ramss, girls who walk in heels sometimes fall too.  Get back up again! That's what you should do.'

Try my heels and see how it works.                

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

.the handy hand is not dandy.

The hand is getting better.  I guess. But the scars still there. I hope they are not permanent. Fingers crossed. Friends asked why. *laugh*  I don't have a good answer for that really.  It's a long explanation and I don't know how to keep it short.  Sometimes I refuse to see my own hand.  Sometimes I just say let it's going to be good soon. Fingers crossed.Again.  But I think better scars than blood right?



Friday, April 13, 2012

.caring is sharing III.

It was two days ago
I was in a friend's room
discussing about no.about life actually.ehe
then we suddenly blurted the same thing

"why sometimes kan we can be soooo malas to wake up for tahajjud.jgnkan tahajjud subuh pun lepas."

"jyeahh (no.its actually 'ya'.=p).sometimes we keep on snoozing the phone without we realise kan"

(dialogue is modified by the writer)

then in fb i came across this status from a kakak in Ireland. It's actually a shared status.

"Seorang lelaki pernah mendatangi Imam Ahmad b. Hambal r.h. lalu berkata "Wahai imam! Aku telah menyiapkan air wudukku dan tidur lebih awal, agar aku boleh mengerjakan solat malam tetapi ternyata aku tidak boleh bangun!,"

Anda mungkin pernah melalui perkara yg sama, yakni di mana mungkin anda telah memasang jam penggera namun tetap tidak terbangun. Ingin tahukah, apa yg dijawab Imam Ahmad kepada lelaki tersebut?

Beliau berkata "Dosa-dosamu telah mengikatmu! Jangan melakukan maksiat kepada Allah pada waktu siang, nescaya kamu akan boleh bangun beribadah di waktu malam dan mengerjakan solat Subuh,"

Sama-samalah bermuhabasah dan tinggalkanlah maksiat itu agar diri lebih bersih dan suci apabila menghadapNya nanti. Moga Allah redha :)"


caring is sharing 
caring is sharing II 

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

.the Malaysians abroad. (Madrid)

i don't really like travelling
because i don't like packing
and i don't like being on the plane
but right now i suddenly feel the urge to travel
bah.that's not the point.
now for you guys who plan to go to Spain, let me give you some...err not really tips (coz im not a travel-guru)but it's more like encouragement for you to go there and a liiilll bit of tiny tiny tips.

First, when you travel with friends, you can maximise the use of big luggage by sharing one big luggage for three ppl. That big luggage will contain your food while your personal belongings will be in your own hand-luggage. Bringing your own food can save budget as sometimes you can hardly find halal food restaurant (besides, takkan breakfast, lunch, dinner semua makan luar kot. we are students.bear that in mind.ehe)

there were 6 of us. hence, two big luggages (eh no.its two big luggage.luggage without 's'.haish selalu lupa.)

and don't forget to bring novels or anything that makes you feel the waiting is worth it. make sure you don't bring academic books. tambah stress woi. 
Our first stop was Madrid.
Madrid is famous for its bull fighting
but we didn't go.we don't like violence you know (eleh.tipu.)
we just went to botanical garden/ Senda Botanica Autoigiada
The scenery is magnificient
but i don't think it's a must-go place
yg penting you have to go to the bullfighting thingy.
sometimes we regret we didn't go.betul!

While having fun in Spain, you have to take care of yourself too.and your money.
when somebody suddenly approach you and ask to donate for this and this and that, run! run for your money!
coz we experienced it
we wanted to give some euros. but they demanded more. 10 euros, people! banyak baitu. they even wanted to hold our debit card. no no no.

yes.our apartment is just around the corner.

tempat is.

spain is hot.not only the people.the weather too. so don't forget to bring along shades; for better eyesight as well as 'insight'.kidding.
that's all about madrid.
nothing fancy.

thank you for just bored.ehe.

Friday, April 6, 2012

.the two aw(s): awful and awesome!

I don't know how to thank them
seriously my 6th april started miserably
with the panda eyes, dizzy-ness and all...
thats why i decided to sleep at 7 am
and woke up at 10.30 am with a miserable feeling
took a shower and waited until dhur and slept again after that until 3.30 pm (such a sleepyhead)
had the worst nightmare ever, i opened my eyes
and i didn't realise i slept again and the nightmare continued (i love dream-chain thingy...but this time i swear i don't like it!)
after hours of sleeping, i freshened up.
indirectly received a bad news from somebody and i felt like sleeping again
but it was 4.30. i had meeting at 5.30
thank God, He gave me such a lovely friends
I didn't know they had planned this surprised bday party since wednesday
and the meeting was actually fake
it was my bday party
you guys are cheeky!
i don't know how to thank them
i pray for their happiness and may God bless them all the way.
you guys had convinced me that my day is not that miserable. i love allllll offfff uuuuuu and i meant it!

thank u soo much =')

thank you for planning
thank you for the food
thank you for the surprises
thank you for the presents
thank you for the du'a
thank you for your love.

p/s: dib and fatin kamurang mmg pandai plan. salute!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

.nothing but You.

everything is different
last week the spring weather was gorgeously sunny
now it's as cold as winter
i'm freezing inside out

everything flows, nothing stand still
last month my friend was still a bachelor, and now he is married.alhamdulillah
last few months my friend still posted something on her wall, but now she's gone. innalillah.

everything is no longer the same
i was laughing
and now i'm crying
the emptiness sometimes can kill me to death
the vision of tomorrow sometimes freak me out

nothing is permanent
i admit nothing is going to be the same again
but i am sure
and absolutely sure
that though everything changes, He won't
He will always be there for me, for you, for us.
seek for His help, and He will surely help us.
i was once thinking 'is tawakkal that easy?''s not (for some).
but once we understand the concept of tawakkal and practice it
you will feel good again.even better.
coz you know, though everybody leaves you, you still have Him by your side. always and forever.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

.jawapan kepada persoalan.

"Dan Kami pasti akan menguji kamu dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa, dan buah-buahan.  Dan sampaikanlah khabar gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar,
orang-orang yang apabila ditimpa musibah, mereka berkata 'Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un' (sesungguhnya kami milik Allah dan kepadaNya lah kami kembali)" Al-Baqarah 2:155 & 156

"Dan jika Allah menimpakan suatu bencana kepadamu, tidak ada yang dapat menghilangkannya selain Dia.  Dan jika Dia mendatangkan kebaikan kepadamu, maka Dia Mahakuasa atas segala sesuatu" Al-An'am 6:17

"...Tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu padahal itu baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu tidak baik bagimu.  Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui" 2:216

*bersyukur membunuh diri adalah haram dalam islam