Friday, April 30, 2010

he makes my mascara 'melting'


to the kitchen I go..
ears shut with earphones
mp3 is on
volume is high...
humming the tune
coz I'm not dare to sing in front of 'public' (even to my housemets)

Dib comes...
i'm smiling back...
she helps me with the cooking..
she follows my humming by singing..
she's a great singer
i admit that..

Al comes...
looking at me...
so i'm looking at her to..
"he broke his leg."
i was like..."huh???wht are u talking about?"
"ur man.broke his leg while playing footie..u dont know bout this??"
i shut the mp3.
"i dunno.."

quickly finishing my cooking..
ask my housmets to eat first..
go upstairs..
n call him...

they ask me to come down..
we like to eat 2gether btw..
so go downstairs..
i'm smiling
i'm just about to eat
when they look at me curiously..
i was like.."is anything wrong?"
dib said.."oh.nothing...ur mascara is 'melting'"
i said.."really??oh ur sambal is tooo spicy..hehe"(just an excuse)
"oh..ya2.ur sambal is toooooo spicy laa dib.."fatin said.

that's y i don't like to cry when using non-waterproof mascara.
ppl can notice it easily..

btw..i pray for ur health.amin!


Thursday, April 29, 2010

.it's boring...don't read it.

woke up in the morning..
and looked at the sky..
'oh!what a lovely whether!'
i was just about to open the window
when suddenly it's raining...
closed the window and switched on the light
coz it's really dark...
sit in front of lappie...
open yahoo mail
browse through fb
and....'Gosh! i haven't read michael's notes..'
so..i read it...
finished reading...
went downstair
knocked housmets' rooms
woke them up for classes
went to the kitchen 
and made breakfast
as usual;bread + cheese and pickles.
after 1 hour..went to the bathroom
and take a simple bath
coz it's freaking cold
went upstairs...dressed up for class
listened to gaga's songs..
volume: high
a very harsh knocked on the door.
wonder who is that person
open the door
and 'wow!'
a guy!
quite gorgeous
i mean real gorgeous!!
'i juz want to switch off the light for a moment coz we have it possible?'
' problem.'
btw..they are(he comes with his friend) the electricians who's been hired by my uni..
owh..juz 4get bout them..coz my class would start in a few minutes.
locked my room...
and went to class..

juz got back from class..
the guys still in my house..
quickly went upstairs and OMG!
my room's opened!
i had locked it but how come err.....
'owh...we just check the wires in ur room...' the guy said
'owh..that shud be fine..'
and went into my room..
and OMG!(again OMG)
they went into my room??
were they really realy going INTO my room??????
my undies are hanging upon the heater!
then my heart says: 'oh..that's normal.
they are uk ppl after all...they used to it..
it's normal'
but my Malaysian mind says:
'OMG!that's really embarassing!'

but who cares btw..
i don't know them
and they don't even bother to know me..
so it doesn't matter baa kan..

it's 1.15 pm.
shud turn off lappie and go to Roisin's class..
have to present about Pavlov's theory...

u managed to read till the end???wow!
u must be bored aite?
thank you for reading btw..
i really feel appreciated..hakhak

till then..

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stuart....u give me headache.

have u ever felt like u want to hit your head against the wall?
have u ever heard about ppl go crazy bcoz of headache?
have u ever thought to 'tampar laju2' ur face until u feel satisfied?

okay2..that's what i'm feeling now.
the damn serious headache ever!
tis is the effect of 3 hours looking at the computer; doing Stuart's assignment..
i wonder why i never have headache when checking the facebook for 12 hours..
oh the answer is very simple i think
bcoz Stuart's work is boring...and facebook isn't..=)

si saket kapla hotak,

Saturday, April 24, 2010

your sky is my sky

it has been quite some time the sky's smiling
the sun's appearing
laughter and happiness fill the air
colourful flowers everywhere
the scent is irresistible
everybody's compatible.

today the sky is crying
the sun's hiding
no more happiness
the prince comes to save the princess
hoping to see a smile, not tears
making jokes at his best
keeps on giving advices
but the princess refuses

he's trying to untangle the mess
he's trying to share the perfect sky in his place
he keeps on trying
but the princess says something
which makes the sky in his place crying 

I'm sorry my dear prince
i'm never meant to hurt u ever since
it's not my intention to hurt u..really!
my mistakes are so silly..
n again i'm sorry...

today the sky is not so clear
tomorrow i wont let it sheds a tear
coz i know u are sooo near
we'll bring the sunshine to the ayer.

ur love,

Thursday, April 22, 2010

it's a student's life.

walking into the class..
smiling and hello-ing everybody happily as if i just won a jackpot..
settling down in my table.
chit-chatting and hu-ha-ing with david who sat beside me until michael entered the class and started teaching.
i smiled at him n he smiled back
and my good mood continued untill he said 'i want to ask everybody about Piaget's theory.just to make sure that u have done ur homework.'
i was like...Piaget's theory??homework????did we have homework???
n david asked 'u didnt do the reading?'
n without bothering about michael who was talking in front...i forced david to give me all the info about Piaget's theory b4 my turn comes.
n b4 david could 'pour' every info that he has...Michael pointed our group..
i was like...o my o my! i'll death if he knew tat i didnt do his homework.
i was hoping silently that he will not choose me to answer his questions.
but his eyes keep looking at me...n i gave him a very confident smile as if i'm the girl who know-it-all.
and finally he chose aiman...fuh! i was absolutely relief!
naseb baek we just had one hour session with him 2day..
if not..matilaaaa aku..
and for the rest of his class..i dont understand every single info he gave...haha
my eyes were with him but my mind flew to another country..hahaaaaaa...mcm mna laa mo maju kalo cam 2
but i make a promise to myself that i wont do it again..
i mean...hopefully i wont do it again...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

coz i love dancing!

tired but happy...'s a good combination btw..
i juz got back from drama practice..
coz i've been dancing for 2 hours non-stop..gila eh
we just started our practice for the second dance:chinese umbrella dance..
n guess what?
i become the choreographer..
hahaha..can u believe that?
tis person who doesn't know how to dance sharply becomes d choreographer???
but it's fun to teach others how to dance..
coz the feeling is different when we become the learner..
when we teach, we have the confidence to show it
when we learn, we hesitate to move;  afraid of ppl saying 'owh..u sgt kayu.'
tat's the reason why i love to practise alone in my room before practise the moves in front of others.
n tats y i enjoyed drama practice today..
i prefer 2 hours dancing than 2 minutes singing!=)

si suka menari,

"will you marry me?"

some ppl want to get married early
some ppl want to get married later
some ppl don't care about getting married or not
some ppl are still searching 4 their bride
some ppl keep silent coz they never think about marriage

whateva their thoughts are
it's their right to think so
coz everybody has their own opinion about marriage

i wonder...why jealousy hits me everytime i get the news that they want to get married/enggaged soon
it's a good news
i should be happy
emmm...i feel happy indeed
but...sometimes the negative thougths 'kill' me in silent.

i dont have the right to force my boyfie to approach me with a wedding ring
i dont have the strenght to tell my family that i want to get married in this early age
i dont think i want to get married early either
coz wht i think is my future..
he's in msia
n i am the uk..
and we are still students
but who doesnt want to get married?
may b a few though
but most of us want to.

i shouldn't compare my love-life with others
i believe that Allah will guide me in this matter
jodoh tue kan d tgn Allah..
so..why do i have to be worried?

si semangat mo kawen,

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

kerna bola....aku mnderita...

saya xbley tido..
sbb kaki sy sangatttt saket.lebam.kejang.semualaa..
sbb td ptg sy p maen bola.
ngn sapa?
ngn budak2 laki n bdk2 pompuan juga.
mcm mana critanya?
bola itu di sepak tepat d betis dan paha.
aduhhhh...tym maen tu mmg xda rsa apa2...
syok btol smpai lupa dunia..
langgar smua org sbb mo dpt bola
tapi bukan bola yg d tendang kaki manusia
mo bwat cam mna.
sy bknnya rooney yg pndai men bola..
sy si rama, wanita biasa..
akibat kpd kesyokan maen bola..
maka skrg sy menderita...
xpa laa..
sapa suru carik nahas d sana
orang suru p maen bola ngn wanita
yg aku p maen bola ngn laki kenapa
sda taw peratus keayuan lelaki adlh sgt rendah..
maka mngada2 p maen 2 kenapa.
bkn apa..dorang da ajak ba..
maka kerana mngingatkan lemak d bdn yg smakin bermaharajalela
tepaksa laa saya menjejakkan kaki d pdg bola.
itu saja saya maw crita.
sekian.terima kaseh dan bley laa blah.

yg saket kaki,


they all talked about their anniversary
i was like...anniversary???wht for?
owh...btw it's for couple..their so-called first date/first approach or whateva..huhu..i dont really know btw.
n suddenly it strikes me..
yeah..anniversary..ejul n i dont have any anniversary..
we never know when we started tis relationship
and we never know how the relationship started
it just happened
and we dont have any specific date or day or time for it
wht i remember is....we started with aku-kau-friendship
and i dont remember how it could change into ana-ejul-dear-relationship.
adeh..kesian nie..
but it's okay..
sumtimes love just happens without having to say 'bole kita kapel?'
it comes from our heart..
sometimes it happens without we realising it.
and i am proud to say that i don't have the exact time for our anniversary because
we celebrate it everyday..^_^ (waaa..pndai plak aku bejiwang tgh2 mlm nie)

Monday, April 19, 2010

singing????no please!

do you know why i become a teacher?
do u have any idea why i never ever choose to be a singer?
bcoz i don't know how to sing.
u will hardly hear me singing
even in the bathroom
coz i know i dont have the voice.
n tats why i choose drama rather than music.
n do you have any idea why i go to the audition of drama?
coz i tot it's a in drama...not a musical drama.
n after i was chosen to b part of the actress...
i was shocked when they gave me lyrics...not dialogue..
n here i am...practising the song...

it was a terrible+horrible nite for me today..
it's the first practice after 3 weeks holiday...
n i forgot my lyrics...
n they asked me to sing with the music...
n i was...'ya ampun!i cannot do this!'
i almost cried..
he asked me to sing F instead of G.
i was like..okay...what d heck F is...and is G stands for Garau?
owh! i'm such a stupid girl if it comes to music notes...
can u plz just say higher or lower?
u dont have to show-off ur music knowledge by telling me F-G stuff.
n there i was..
standing in the middle of the stage
practising my voice with higher n lower key
n again they asked me to sing from perut...not ank tekak..
gosh! is singing this hard??
no wonder i hate singing...

tomorrow got practice some more..
wish me luck k!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

pinky-tinky things again..^^

 yg d bold pink tue are mine.^^

•I can drive.
•I have a white handbag - mum bought it 4 fact we have d same bag..haha
•I love dancing- even tho i'm not that pro...but i still love it for therapy.eheehe.
•I go clubbing every week.
•Shopping is bullshit.- how dare u say tis!
•90% of my friends smoke.
•I still hang out with my ex, even though our break up was rather nasty.
•I hate cartoons.
•I hate someone.
•I have 10 Lollipops handbags.
•I buy CLEO every month- i used to buy it when i was in msia.
•My parents don’t know about my blog.- my mum doesn't interested to know..hehe
•I have an iPod.
•I don’t have faith in the current “one”.
My school mates know about my blog.-
some.the chosen ones..hehe
•I wanted to be a fashion designer.
•I love rock emo bands.
•I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups.- owh! i only hate it whn i oredi dress-up.
•I’m a rebel.
•I don’t believe in love.
•High school's filled with drama.
•My parents have faith in me- in everything but not in terms of romantic love.
•I’ve bought shoes this month.
•I hate sports.
•I heart Italian food.-duh! their rice is sooo their pizza..huh! msia is thousand times better i tell u.
•I hate meeting new people.
•I hate nail polish.
•The mother bear gives me hugs.- shall i say my 'papa bear'?
•People should start appreciating me.- who doesn't want to be appreciated??
•High school was the worst time of my life.
•I have red hair.
•I hate vacations.- cuz i dont like packing.
•I believe in long distance relationships.- hopefully we will last 4ever, dear!
•I’m starting to like applying make-up.
•I was a tomboy.
•I love bitching about people behind their backs
•I still have a best friend.
•I have a cat.
•I hate surprise parties.- i really like this!!
•I hate planning parties
•I’m a sinner.- nobody's perfect.
•I cant live without music.
•Video games are a waste of time.
•I miss the father bear.- can i say 'i miss my PAPA BEAR!'
•I love being in love.- owh!it's such a bliss.
•I know how to cook.- coz my mum said 'dak da laa org msk mminang kalo ko xtaw masak'.kawen pnya pasal..tepksa laa aku blaja masak..
•I have 100% freedom.
•Boys are assholes.
•I hate Math.- i love math...n i love cigu math..eheehe
•I’m happy with what I have
•I love horror films.
•My old friends keep in touch with me.- in fact they are reading this blog rite now..ehhe
•I hate animals.
•I can’t live without make-up.
•I curse like a pirate.
•I hate people that are smart.
•I love Orange juice.
•I can’t drink for nuts.
•I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity.
•I’ve got a new phone.
•I’m going to get a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.- i hope so.
•I haven’t worked out since March.
•I think I’m fat
•I love my friends and family

Saturday, April 17, 2010

ha lam alif lam=halal

don't panic..
doooooon't panic..

tis is the 3rd time i ate non-halal stuff..
it's not tat i want to eat it
i still remember the dos and donts in islam ok..
but i was accidentally...i mean absolutely accidentally eating those things.
before tis..i ACCIDENTALLY ate custard cake with lemak babi inside...
then...i ACCIDENTALLY ate ketchup with liqueur..hampir habes stgh botol baru i realised bout tis thing. and aku kepeningan thp dewa pas 2..
and now..again..i ACCIDENTALLY ate chocolate with amaretto liqueur, raspberry liqueur, and champagne inside. I really..totally..utterly didnt realise this thing until my non-muslim fren (al) ate the choc and said it tastes so good like brandy...n she asked me to read the ingredients and there u go!arak inside..adeh..
there are 16 delicious-micious chocs inside and i already ate 12 chocs!

my frens worries..u didn't know bout it..
yeah! sure! i didn't know bout it.
n those things already live happily ever after in my stomache.

so moral of the story-mory:
check the ingredient first before u open ur mouth and eat!

btw...i never know that choc also has liqueur inside..
oh my!sy sgt kampong rupanyaa..

c pemakan benda halal,

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

never have i thought....

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
i could wear 'S' shirts before without problems
but now..
i have to consider my belly
my waist..
gosh!it's embarassing 
but it's true indeed!

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
when i realise i love to cook
n obviously that's a good step to become a good wife in the future
am i right?
but still..i can't believe how much i love cooking rite now
before this...
i hardly go to the kitchen n help mamak to cook
now..i dont have to use turbo power to force myself cooking.

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
when i know how to make a conversation with the eldest
before this
i thought i dont have to speak
afraid of worthless points

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
when i realise i have the right to speak
i don't have to live in shadows
and should speak up for my own rights
but sometimes i think i over do it..
n make people hurt for what i have said

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
when my mum shares a mature-topic 
we laugh a real-adult-laugh
no more fairy tales

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
when i realise i have owned a love
no more puppy love
but i hope a real love
which can lead me to the altar
coz i love him
and this love hopefully can bring me to Heaven.(InsyaAllah.amin.)

never have i thought i could be this 'big'
coz i am now 21
no more '-teen' but '-ty'

so should i do my assignments right now?
coz i really am a BIG girl now
but i think a BIG girl doesn't have to pack her stuff and go to the lecture hall
and listen to the lecturer's talk
and do zillions of homework
and assignments..
so i guess i'm not that big though. 

yg perasan sda besar,

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

coz life is sooo colourful!

I was doing my assignments when dib knocked my door..'rama we go 2 sumthing 2 buy wif fatin.'
i juz say aha! coz i dont have the mood to talk coz i keep on thinking about the assigments..what the heck.
i locked myself in my room, with files and papers everywhere, shut the evil facebook and sit in front of my acer.i nearly cried coz i didn't have any idea on what to write.
as a result i karaoke-ing in my room n ignore everything that happened around me until 7 pm.
gosh!hungry!so i went 2 the kitchen and found out that there's nothing 2 eat.fuh!bad mood!
i took out frozen fish frm the fridge, chopped d onion n cooked.
n guess wht?! no salt, no sugar, no pepper, no cooking oil n no everything!i felt like screaming!
al said that she left them in beba's house coz they did masak2 before..
so fine!i smiled n say 'it's okay.'
nasiblah there're still salt, sugar n butter left. 
telephone's ringing.
dib called n said she's in shah's house..she said shah will cook for her..(aku kurangkan satu ekor ikan)
n suddenly al oso said she will masak2 wif dont cook for her. (aku kurangkan lagi satu)
while cooking, fatin knock the door with a cake in her hands..
she ignored me at first..
before she went out she said that she's in ain's house;baking cake.
so i tot may be ain wanted to learn cara2 mmbuat kek from her.
n i felt dissapointed when she oso dont want to eat..(terpksa kurangkan lg sekor ikan).
'everybody dont want to eat..xpa laa..i'll eat myself.'
tgh cooking2..suddenly clare entered my house n said 'kasian..mkn sorg2 ek..'
n it really made me sad..hukhuk..

nite: al teriak from downstairs.she wanted to go out s usual..
hurmmm..home alone again.
felt lonely....sad....miserable..
y everybody wanted to go out...?
i shut the door...pasang earphone n continued karaoke-ing..
9pm-d telephone rang.
dgn mlsnyaa i went downstairs n pick up the phone..
it's aufa n she sounds really worried.
'dib nanges rama..come 2 my house now plz.'
i asked y..but she said dib didnt want to tell anything.
with my pyjamas n a simple tudung...i ran 2 aufa's house(seblah ruma ja pun).
without knocking d door..i mrempuh masok
n tadaaa!
they sang "HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 U...."
n i was like...'haa??!"
no wonder everybody looked so busy...
n no wonder garam gula minyak suma teda..ya ampun..

gucci,playboy, thortons choc are some of my presents..
i was really2 touched!
n honestly that was the very first surprised birthday party since i was born..

pinky-tinky things tat i've done in life (courtesy of muli's blog)^^

THINGS THAT I’VE DONE IN LIFE (yg telah d pink-kan)

Graduated high school -'smktawau bdiri megahnya...'
Kissed someone~mom..sisters..girlfrens..ank2 buah..Smoked cigarettes
Got so drunked you passed out
Rode every ride at an amusement park
Collected something really stupid- collected lidi when i was 6/7 y.o!oh my!
Gone to a rock concert
Helped someone ~ almost everyday i guess.
Gone fishing - yeah!wif my cuzzy long2 tym ago..umpan nasik lg 2..
Watched four movies in one night
Gone long periods of time without sleep ~ owh!sleepin is my hobby!tgh dating pun leh ttido okay.=p
Lied to someone ~ sometimes..ngehngeh..hey who doesnt?

Been dumped
Snorted cocaine
Failed in class 

Smoked weed
Dealt drugs
Taken a college level course
Been in a car accident
Been in a tornado
Done hard drugs (ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid)
Watched someone die ~ my dad..uhu..crying no2..='(
Been to a funeral ~ dad,grandma,neighbour..
Burn yourself accidentally ~ often! especially tym cooking2..2 laa bejoyah lg tym msk.huhuRan a marathon ~ yup!i love it!God knows how much i love running!
Your parents got divorce~cerai mati
Cried yourself to sleep ~ coz homesick..n when ejul didn't pick up d phone..adeh!emo btol.
Cheated on someone
Written a 10page letter ~ 10 pages????hahaa..i'll try.Gone skiing
Spend over Rm200 in a day ~ once.when i was preparing my stuff 2 go uk.termiskin tros.
Flown on a plane
Been cheated on
Cut yourself accidentally~often! fingers laa slalu.n i will ignore it once i cut it accidentally.
Had a bestfriend~had??shud it be have??
Lost someone you loved~ my dad..
Had detention
Skipped school
Got in trouble in something you didnt do~tym d kml..kena 2duh melepak tgh2 mlm jumaat.pd hal cri brg rabia yg ilang..
Stolen books from the library~if accidentally??

Gone to a different country~france, italy, uk n xlupa indon..hihi
Dropped out of school
Watched the Harry Potter movies~honestly i dont like harry potter n stuff.
Had an online diary~once.but i had deleted it.
Been in a school play
Attempted suicide
Written poetry~in ipgaya slalu..adeh..boring!
Read more than 20books a year ~ 20???! 10 may be!
Love someone you couldnt have ~ hahaa..stupid crush!
Used a coloring book over aged 12~owh!tis is my hobby til now!Had surgery
Had stitches
Taken a taxi ~owez..kan ejul?hahaa

Monday, April 12, 2010

..dogaan hidop..

spring has come
and i couldn't and hardly close my eyes at nite
bcoz i still can't adapt myself with this changing whether n time
i can asily yawn at 9 pm 
but i have 2 open my eyes widely 
coz isyak is at 10 something pm..
ya Allah...dogaan btol..
n after pray sometimes i couldn't go to bed 
n i will stay up sometimes until 3 am
n i have to wake up early d next morning coz syuruk is at 6.30 am.
n honestly i olwez miss subuh prayer..ya ampun..
then i have to get used to d sunlite at 8 pm...
n tried my best not to fall asleep b4 maghrib...
seriously tis is very challenging for me.. is 11.38 pm..i should sleep now no matter wht..

yg 'whether' shock,