Saturday, April 6, 2019

.The Journey of the 2nd.

Was having the contraction since zhur. 
I brave myself to drive picking up my hubby at the airport that Friday afternoon. 
I jokingly said to the baby in my womb 'Now u are free to see the world as ur ayah is already here with us.' Hubby laughed. I laughed. Maryam laughed (dunno whether she understood or not). 
It continued till Asr but i ignored it. 
Trying to put a strong face till maghrib. 
I can't hide the pain anymore. 
I told my hubby. He was panicked at first but trying to control the situation
We waited until I can't hold it anymore. It was 10.30 that time when we decided to rush to the 30-minute drive hospital. 
Mak was worried but I told her not to. She waited at home with my sleeping Maryam (Mind u, the first time I can stay calm. Lol)
At 11 pm, the HO together with a few nurses did some check up. 
I was almost fainted when the HO told me I might have miscarriage. 
I prayed silently while holding back my tears. I should be strong and my baby should too!
The Head Doc came. Upon checking me, she scolded the HO as she told me the wrong info and not doin her job well. I pity the HO but can't do anything either. 
The Doc told me baby is okay it's just that her heart beat had discelerated. 
I can have normal delivery but she said it depends. 
I was having the most terrible and painful contraction ever! From 11 until 4 am can u imagine? 5 hours of pain! And they even told me it can go on up to 10 hours! Really?!
I even grabbed and hold the doc's hand until her face turned sour. Sorry for that as that was unintentional. 
Until I prayed so that Allah give me the best (well He always does) 
And my misery ended when the doc told me I should opt for emergency ceaser. 
Only God knows how happy I was as I can't endure the pain anymore. 
I pray so hard that my baby is doing well. 
I dont mind if they want to cut me as long as my baby is okay
And truth  be told, this time around, I can feel the knife cutting me. 
Around 4-5 am alhamdulillah a baby girl got to see the world
I expected them to hand my baby to me
But instead they had to put her quickly in NICU as she breathed so fast. 
I was worried sick
After they'd done 'sewing' me, they sent me to the ward where i could meet my hubby 
Thank God he said everything will be ok
I didn't believe him at first as I thought he only wanted to make me calm
Hence I asked a doc
Alhamdulillah doc said the same thing as well
I shouldn't be worried they said. 

Well, what I could say for this time delivery is going smooth although I didn't get the normal delivery that I always wanted and prayed for. 
Allah had sent good people around me
My family
And even strangers
The nurses this time were surprisingly nice
They helped me whenever possible
Even the doc treated me well
They even said sorry everytime I felt the pain. Lol
And when I was vomitting 5 times, there's this patient who sat at the very corner of the ward came all the way from her bed to me and helped me to throw my vomit. 
I was shocked and touched at the same time
Allah is really treating me well mashaAllah. 

To our new hunny bunch sugar crunch 
We hope u can rock the world by being a good servant to Allah. Amin

Thanks husband for always being there for me. Now u have 3 clingy 'girls' around u. 😝

Friday, December 8, 2017


She once told me she might not get married with the person she is dating now
She once told me she might perhaps get married with a Dato' or any YB
She once told me she might end up being a spinster
She once told me if she got married it will be the simplest wedding ever without a dais or whatnot
She once told me she would not look beautiful in a wedding dress. 

Well, let me tell you this, best friend,
The truth is, 
All those things you've once told me are bullsh*t. 
You've finally got married with the person you've dated for 10 years or so and that proves you are not going to be a spinster
You are not getting married with a dato' coz you know what a dato' will not guarantee a good life. 
You have the best wedding ever; the one that beyond your expectation
And you look like a princess on that beautiful greyish wedding dress! (God, I don't know how many times I have to tell you, you are not fat!)

I cried when you got hitched. 
I don't know how to describe the feelings
Perhaps because i wasn't there witnessing your big day
Or perhaps because it feels like somebody has taken you away from me
Or perhaps because you finally with someone you dearly loved after series of challenging 'drama' that you ought to face. 

I know things are going to be different
I know things will change
Both of us are having comitments now
But I hope our sisterhood will last forever

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Best Friend! :')

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

.trying hard to be romantic.

She: Abang do you like iPhone?
He: Suka! Why?
She:'iPhone' suka you! 
He: *impressed*

Well, that was the very first time he really got blown away with my pick up line. Before this, he spoilt all my pick up lines coz he read it first on facebook before I could use it. -.-

And, this, people, deserves to be posted in here so that it could remind me I had won the pick up line Challenge once! Lol. 

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

'F' is for 'fight; not 'fool'

I don’t know

but I can’t stop thinking about this matter as it keeps on playing in my mind like the ‘I am Me’ song



I just actually attended a meeting regarding our students’ performance with some ‘outsiders’

Desperately hoping it could be fruitful to the entire teachers and students,

 And yes, it did - - -

well at least that’s what I told myself many times

But I can’t deny the fact that they actually don’t bother my students as human

My students are merely figures,


grades name it


Everything should be on paper

 should be proven by data.


Those who get A are good students

Those who failed are not

they are problematic

Perhaps I should just tell them

My students who failed is as human as the 'A' students

 My students who failed really want to study,

 really focus,

 really positive about life.


But they don’t see that

They don’t even bother

Because my students are just numbers

 without feelings.


Friday, June 30, 2017

.wearing pavlova.

Today I was planning to buy a new pair of jeans since the one that I was wearing was bought like 11 years ago?! Haha. I know right.  how time flies. I really need a new pair since traveling wearing skirt/dress/palazzo is quite hard for me. 

So I went to this one particular shop which the brand is quite well-known. 

'Miss, ada straight cut jeans?'
And suddenly she snorted. I was clueless. Did I ask a silly question?

'Yg ladies semua skinny jeans. Mana ada straight cut.'

I was like, Really??? Am I that old-fashioned??

' bout this? It doesn't look skinny though.' I asked

' Oh, yang ni jeans lelaki. Yg perempuan punya yg lagi ketat melekat kat kaki.' The salesgirl told me. I was quite unsure how to give appropriate reaction to her. But I was quite sure how my reaction was when she said, 'Tapi kalau akak nak pakai jeans lelaki pun bole. Longgar sikit.'

And so, I tried the male jeans. And guess what, it's utterly fittt (not the waist but the legs) though I tried a size bigger. I gave her the jeans back, said thank you and off I go. 

I told my husband about it. And he laughed. He said I should just stick to wearing 'pavlova'. 

P/s: and by 'pavlova', he actually meant 'palazzo'. He always has this confusion between those two. Haha. Yes, my husband is funny tho he has a stern face. And that's why I love him. Lol. Tetibe. 

Nope.  He's definitely not wearing pavlova.  Na-ah.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

.hard to say goodbye when it comes to Plymouth.

It was Plymouth all over again. 
I didn't really favour Cameron Highlands at first as I thought it could be just like Kundasang; cold,strawberries, carrots and cabbages. 
But as I entered the Mardi English Cottage, it gave me a homey feeling. 
The interior, the design, the carpet, the coldness, and the smell were really like my Plymouth. 
I felt my chest hardened as I performed my prayer. It was the same prayer clothes that I wore in Plymouth. 
And I can't help myself to reminisce how easy life was back then. 

It was the third day when we packed our things to go back. 
As I closed the front door, I told myself I should move on. 

Well, reality, bring it on! 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

.Dear my lil caliph, (Gastro Ward, what??)

They failed to identify the disease.  The OB said everything is okay with you.  Mama's blood is still 9.  Not 6 as claimed by the other hospital.  Mama was confused.  He said again, may be there's something wrong with the machine or they accidentally changed the blood with someone else's.  Mama was frustrated.  But, we cannot blame anyone.  Papa always told us to look at the other side of the coin  (He's being so positive lately since you were in my tummy. Hee)

So, they called another specialist.  This time, they focused on mama since there's nothing wrong with you.  Well, as long as you are okay, mama will be fine too.  After waiting for about 3 hours, the doctor came.  And she straight away asked the nurses to send mama to Gastro Ward because the esophagus was bleeding. Sobs. But thank God, they could let papa stay with us.  It was already 11 pm.  Mama was tired.  So mama slept on a very comfy bed whereas papa, slept on a non-sleepable chair.  ='(

To be continued...